People who defeat their own arguments

January 12, 2008 – 9:34 am by John

I don't know why I was thinking about this now, but when I was at home for Thanksgiving I found an article from Fark.com about Black Friday scams that retailers don't want you to know about, and how to avoid them. I actually made the unwise move of reading the discussion thread, which I've sworn off doing because of the ginormous moranitude of Farkers in general, but it wasn't so bad. The reason I read the thread was to find comments that would prove my point that retail employees loathe and dread Black Friday and the Christmas season in general, to have ready for my girlfriend when I tried to justify forgoing their incredible deals for the sake of the poor employees whose holiday-season bitterness I'd rather not contribute to. It's my way of spreading Christmas joy. What can I say?—I'm a giver.

Anyway, the point of this post is to briefly mention one of the stupidest comments about capitalism and "consumerism" that has ever been stated. One Farker, a world-class moran with the username drucee, actually said this about the Christmas shopping season: "Anarcho-capitalism at its finest."

Yes, you read it right.

Now, I know I should heap praise upon this Farker for actually distinguishing himself from 99.9% of all other Farkers by using "its" correctly, and I know it's not fair to pick on this one dimwit when there are all those other State-worshipping socialists out there making all those other fantastically bad arguments against freedom and capitalism whom I'm ignoring, but I just couldn't pass this up.

You mean to bring up anarcho-capitalism in relation to retail stores in the United States in 2007??? THIS is your example of capitalism run amock? THIS is the result of too much freedom? THIS is what you would have the State use its violent, deadly police power to interfere with?

First of all, since you are doubtless one who ranks his concern for the poor among his foremost reasons to worship the all-mighty and all-caring State, you should embrace this shopping day and the shopping season that follows as a boon to poor Americans who can't afford many luxury items the rest of the year. I know it's hard to imagine the capitalist pricing system, or freedom of exchange, or any other non-State-directed behavior, as evil and greedy, but if you consider this the result of corpratist capitalism, then an even freer economy would obviously be better for the poor (I know you haven't studied economics enough to realize this (a day or two), but it is true).

Second, and along those same lines, the customers obviously want to be there, the companies obviously want them there, and the employees obviously want to be there more than taking their other job offers or being unemployed, so if you could wrap your little embittered and propagandized mind around the fact that if people didn't (think they would) benefit from something, they wouldn't choose to do it, then you wouldn't make such depressingly uninformed claims.

But, lastly and most pertinently, WHAT THE HELL DOES OUR SOCIETY HAVE TO DO WITH ANARCHO-CAPITALISM?! The American State has grown steadily and mercilessly for the last century, and so has "mindless consumerism" (your ilk's words, not mine), so to employ your level of logic, the State must be the cause of all this corpratist deterioration! We have gotten less and less free over the last hundred or so years, and more and more "consumerist," so we can at the very least conclude that more freedom did not lead to the corruption of values and common sense that you seem to be referring to, and furthermore, can infer, through no great leap of logic or fact, that more freedom would reverse this depravity trend.

It is amazing how much ignroance exists out there about libertarianism and capitalism. You say problem X is caused by condition Y, when the exact opposite of condition Y exists, a situation you wholeheartedly endorse, so you have just defeated your own argument! The opposite of anarcho-capitalism, corporate-State socialism, exists, so this latter environment is the one that causes the depravity you condemn, so its opposite is almost certainly the cure! You are a complete idiot and I'm glad to count you among my philosophical enemies.

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